it was times like those i wanted a boyfriend so much.

yesterday... after the korean class. i was going back home alone. Usually i would find someone to call.

weewee was out. everyone was out. people couldnt use the phone. and i felt so damnnit alone. Like i couldn't even find someone who could call me.

and i thought to myself. [how great would it be if i had a boyfriend?] then there will be someone who might fetch me here and there. to accompany me on the phone when i'm alone. just anyone will do. anyone.

okay fine. not anyone. im like so greedy. i want cute guys. i want guys who will treat me right. i want guys who will love me. and yet i still want guys who arent fat and ugly and disgusting and flirts. okay i think i'm wanting guys who are like what other girls would want.

im like getting so despo-ed and i hate hate hate that feeling. that feeling of being lonely. at night. okay that sounds wrong. but it ain't physically lonely. ITS NOT. yuck. hm. i guess its kind of a {someone to be there for always} feeling. shit it.....!

RAH. im like so. insecure always.

maybe when it comes to down to this, everybody needs someone. someone please tell me that im not wrong for wanting a boyfriend. =(

and i'm like so totally nobody want. AISH. hate to admit the sad facts, but i am. GODDDDD KE LIAN WO BA. PLEASE.

okay and lately i've been praying.

not for a boyfriend. but for other stuff. and seriously . i feel so greedy. like. whats my problem lah? i prayed to God to ask Him to make it better. and He answered my prayers. Prayers to help me get over people. help me to grow up. help me to be a better person. have i not wanted enough?

human greed. we're all self centered and selfish.



xoxo

when it gets late in the night
it makes me miss you even more.
yes.
that non-existent you.

i'llrescuemyself
6:36 AM